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Essays From the Crypt: Don't Get Tired of Superhero Films, Begs Hollywood

(Originally published July, 2016)

Don't Get Tired of Superhero Films, Begs Hollywood

Movie studios 20th Century Fox, Disney, Warner Bros., and Sony have issued a joint statement begging the general public not to get tired of superhero movies.

With Deadpool, Batman v Superman, Captain America: Civil War, X-Men: Apocalypse, Suicide Squad, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 having all been released just this year, and Doctor Strange coming out in November as well, the four studios are quietly sweating should a shift in the public interest occur. They have however shared some of their future plans.

20th Century Fox created a new subgenre of R-rated superhero films with the surprise success Deadpool, and are apparently looking to carry that momentum forward to future projects.

‘Clearly the fans loved the uncensored twist on the established formula, so we’re happy to announce the 5th Alvin and the Chipmunks film will have an R-rated extended cut.’

Sony Pictures is currently throwing everything at the wall to see what sticks, and has already collaborated with Disney and the Marvel Studios brand to include Spiderman in Civil War. They are also hoping to do collaboration with Disney’s bank account in the near future.

Warner Bros. was contacted for a statement on the future of the DC cinematic universe, but their response couldn’t compete with Disney:

‘We’re mostly confident. I mean, comics themselves have been going since the thirties, so we expect a similar level of continued interest from the public. But just to make sure, we’re keeping several Stan Lee clones in an isolation chamber so that in the event of his death, we can keep giving him cameos,’ said a Disney executive.

The superhero crash is an inevitability after the public grows weary of the genre’s continued saturation, so the question now becomes: what could possibly fill the void left after the fall?

The rumour is originality.

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