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Coffee Conversations: Nice Day for a Royal Wedding

Updated: Nov 7, 2022


Coffee Conversations: Nice Day for a Royal Wedding

Coffee Conversations is a segment that talks about things usually overheard in quieter moments; like when talking to a friend in a coffee shop. The subjects are loose, opinionated, and poorly researched. I promise nothing and will deliver less.


Just a tea for me, thanks. Milk, please, no sugar. Ta. Soooo…

Oh my God oh my God! Price Harry’s getting married today woo! I can’t wait to look at all the mad hats and famous people I’m supposed to recognise. It kind of snuck up on me, honestly. I feel like it’s happening in an isolation chamber. Nothing can possibly go wrong. No stage invasions by activists this weekend. But it’s interesting to see everyone around the world coming together to celebrate it. Sort of makes you wonder why other royal weddings don’t get the same pomp and circumstance. Why don’t we go crazy for the royal weddings of Denmark or the Imperial family in Japan? I wouldn’t mind being invited to one of those, but you don’t see the world going crazy for those occasions.

Maybe it’s the same reason why my wedding probably won’t be broadcast around the world and be held in Windsor Castle and have celebrities and royalty in attendance. Not unless I get out the house more, anyway. But it goes to show how popular the royal family is, both home and away. There are people in Santa Monica right now staying up to watch the ceremony, which makes sense since Markle’s from there originally. I know people in Australia are watching it too. I wouldn’t be surprised if aliens are watching between planning their ruin of mankind.

‘No-one would have believed, in the second decade of the twenty-first century, that minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded the royal wedding with excitable eyes. And slowly, and surely, they raised their glasses of translucent blue liquid to toast them.’ – HG Wells, probably.

It’s also interesting to see that no heads of state were invited. The PM’s not there. Oh my God, could you imagine if Trump had been invited?! Part of me really wants to see that now, see how he acts amongst adults. Having heads of state would have completely changed the tone of the entire event, though. It speaks to how separated the royal family is from politics that one of the biggest events on the calendar hasn’t invited any politicians. You’ve got to give credit where its due, the planners knew what they wanted to go for. Everyone’s a patriot when it comes to love. And you couldn't have picked a more patriotic spot than the castle your own dynasty shares its name with! Flag makers must’ve made a mint.


It’s also pretty interesting to see how important the religious angle is to weddings. Understandable, considering the Queen is the head of the Anglican Church, but still. The regalia and formality is going to be spectacular, I’m sure. I’m willing to bet most people may only ever go to a church as an adult to get married, or to christen their children. Even as less and less people profess to follow any faith, and more than a few churches around here are always empty whenever I pop my head in, there’s still a certain level of respect for the institution on a personal level. Even if you don’t go to services regularly (or at all) you’ll still go there for weddings, christenings, funerals, etc. If it’s important, you go to church to do it, ‘in the presence of God’ I guess. What a weird hangover.

Oh damn my tea’s gone cold. Serves me right for talking so much. Also I’ve got things to do today so I can’t hang around. Gotta get back to watch the wedding woo! Did you know I played Rugby around where the carriage is going through? That was a load of fun. We came second to last, if I remember miserably.

Anyway, I’ll see you later. Give my love to your dogs! Hope they get to enjoy the nice weather.

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