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Talks for Earth to Join Planetary Alliance Stall over Fishing Rights

Image by Rujhan Basir from Pixabay.

Today, the chief representatives of Earth and the Constellation Conglomerate (CC) expressed disappointment at how negotiations for Earth’s membership have been progressing.

Whilst almost all points of contention have now been resolved, it has become clear that the crucial disagreement has been over space fishing rights, in particular how much of the area around the moon should be available for extra-terrestrial fishermen. Both sides have yet to come to an accord over this issue, putting the rest of the treaty at risk.

Membership of the CC includes a medical panacea, the creation of a post-scarcity economy, environmental revitalisation, space bridges, teleportation, and one free chicken for everyone. It is not yet known whether the chicken will be one per individual, or whether one will be shared amongst all of humanity. The CC declined to comment on ongoing negotiations.

When asked why it has become so large an issue, given how little fishing is conducted around the moon at present, Earth’s representative had this to say:

“We don’t have any plans to fish around the moon. There is nothing to fish there, it’s just empty space and a few rocks. But we’ll be damned if we’ll surrender any amount of economically irrelevant autonomy just so we can attain eternal youth and a cure to all diseases. It’s entirely unreasonable.”

Previously, the deal was touted as “one of the easiest in history” and “a no-brainer” by Earth’s leaders. It has since claimed the lives of over 15 million diplomats.

The Constellation Conglomerate is an economic and diplomatic union of planets that has sought to expand its influence in the outer arms of the Milky Way. The Earth is a loose confederation of constituent states that is barely keeping it together, to be honest.

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